The Truth & Love
If people don't see our true identity it is really hard to walk with them. When we speak life, we should be speaking in to someone as God sees them, not as we see them nor how they are currently behaving. We are supposed to relate to them according to their identity not their behaviour.
Speaking the truth in love is not giving someone a list of all the things you don't like about them followed by "I'm saying this because I care about you". While everything we want to say might be true, if they are in Christ, they are a new creation, so is what we want to say TRUTH? God's truth? The way God sees them? Often, we speak what is true and it actually ends up keeping someone in that place rather than releasing their true God-given identity and freedom.
When God connects with us, He does so from how He sees us, not from how we see ourselves. He always talks to us from our identity with Him. It's the enemy who talks to us from our 'old man' perspective.
The truth is how God sees us. It's the person we need to be reminded of especially when we aren't acting like it. We need to call people UP in to their God-given identity rather than 'out' on their stuff. Reveal the truth of who they are in Christ and it's the Truth that will set them free.